MTC Week 5

This is MY FAVORITE picture.

blonde= Hermana Green

redhead= Hermana Scott

brunette= Hermana Dorian

 

My District

 

 

Mom,

 

How are you!? I love you so much! Happy late mother's day!

No one emailed me this week so if you want you can get a good long email. haha. I don't know what to write about though... like nothing has happened this week. Well lots of things have happened, but I don't know what specifically to tell you about! And I don't know if I can remember everything. Haha. Or anything.

Anyway! How are you? And Brant's done with the play... bummer! Tell him not to watch duck dynasty too much- haha. How's Grandma Goodrich?

Mom, this time next week I'm going to be a real missionary. Speaking Spanish and telling people about this gospel. This is real life. I can't believe it!

Our flight is at 7:15 AM ... so I'll probably call you before that... at six sometime. I honestly have no idea. We've got to get to our travel office at 4 AM ... it's going be a long day.

PERO, Mom, it has been so great. Like- I can't wait til I'm in Texas and really get to see these people and just really love them and LOSE myself in this work. I just.. I'm just bad at teaching and speaking Spanish and the whole works. I'm just not good at it at all. Haha. I just feel like I need to stop worrying so much and be as obedient as I can be and pray to be filled with charity and just "Go forth with Faith" This is the Lord's work, He called me and He will qualify me, and He didn't send me here to fail. And He believes in me! I really do think He looks at me for my strengths and is patient with my weaknesses. Like Elder Holland said- He's only worked with imperfect people.

So guess what!? Janice Kapp Perry came on Sunday! We just sang a medley of her primary songs and it was awesome! There's such a power in music! Speaking of- I got a calling as music coordinator ... but then I just realized I won't be here for much longer (AH!) ... but it was awesome cuz I got to choose the music in sacrament. I love music so so so so so so much. Anyway, yeah, that was awesome!

My teacher has talked to me a lot about weaknesses... that they're given to us by God and that they're not a sin. So... that's good. I have become a lot better at prayers. Even on the days I feel just kinda really down I can go and talk with God and things feel so much better. It's like- different in the MTC! I have to remind myself that this is the same gospel that I've had my entire life- it almost seems different. I know that sounds weird, but the gospel itself isn't different, just the way it's presented is a little bit. And I guess when I feel it the most and have that desire to share it is really when I think about how much happiness it has brought to us. Like- our family and me personally to just know that there's always hope and that God always has a plan for us. We're never too far gone that the Atonement won't reach us. Isn't that great!? Jesus Christ descended below it all so that we can always have someone to turn to. That right there has brought me so much comfort, and I know it has for you too. Mom, like- I just wonder all the time, how did you do what you did? How did you have so much faith and trust in the Lord through that ... not gonna lie ROUGH part of your life. You've just had so many trials but you've never lost the faith. I feel like every time I go through something hard it's God trying to punish me, but ... that's not the God I know. Like- I guess it's just hard to try and make that connection of God's love for me, even when I feel like no one else does or no one else sees the good in me.

I literally DREAM of being that missionary that President Monson talked about. I want to be that kind of person, someone that just looks past everything and straight to the heart. And just love the heck out of people. That's what I want to do SO BADLY! And I just want to love people because I want to, not cuz I have to. Which is kinda what it feels like here "Love cuz you have to" ... mmmmm not good. When I really think about the Atonement, and the Savior, it's like- that kind of pure love and joy he has for me, just like I do for you guys. Like, sure, we all have our weaknesses and our quirks but I barely even notice them cuz I see how great we are, and I just love you guys! I just hope He sees that in me. Because I KNOW I have that potential. I know with His help I can do anything. I'm not gonna lie, I still have a hard time trusting Him with ALL MY HEART  and I don't know why! I just feel like life is so full of ups and downs and I have to remember that God's love is unchanging. He feels that about everyone! The love He has is forever!

Thank you so so so so much for everything you've done for me and everything you continue to do for me.  I think about you all every single day. I love you I love you I love you!!!

Keep writing! The best is to hear from you!

Love you!

Hermana Johnson